Listening to Your Inner Knowing (Even When It's Uncomfortable)
Before you read on...
This one's a bit longer than usual - perfect for the start of a new year when we need time to reflect. So go ahead: put the kettle on, make yourself a warm drink, and settle in. This is your permission to take your time… I promise, it will be worth it.
I have a confession to make.
Over autumn and into December, I got busy. Really busy! Workshops, programmes, new offerings, teaching, supporting clients - all beautiful work that I genuinely love. But somewhere in all that doing, I stopped listening to something important - my body telling me when to stop.
Going to bed later and later - seemed to sneak up on me. Working six full days a week, pushing through tiredness instead of honouring it. This honest story is ironic because this is exactly what I teach women not to do in my Rise & Reclaim coaching programme.
It wasn't until I felt genuinely exhausted that I realised, I'd been ignoring my inner knowing for weeks. My body had been whispering "slow down - take a break" and I'd been replying "I've still got just one more thing to do." You see I'm quite a perfectionist and set myself high standards.
So, the hardest boundary I had to set? - was the one with myself!
What Winter Wisdom Teaches Us
In Traditional Chinese Medicine, we're deep in the Water Element season now - the time of year when nature asks us to go inward, conserve energy, and trust our deepest wisdom.
Water teaches us something profound. It always knows where it needs to flow. It doesn't force. It doesn't override its own nature. It simply trusts what it knows.
Your body has this same wisdom. It's constantly communicating with you - through tiredness, through tension, through that subtle "no" that lives in your belly when something doesn't feel right. You know that feeling?
The question isn't whether you have inner knowing. Because you do.
The question is: Are you listening?
When Your Body Whispers "No"
During my recent Rise & Reclaim programme, I watched something beautiful unfold. Women who'd spent years saying yes to everyone and everything finally gave themselves permission to listen to what they actually needed.
One of the most powerful moments came when we talked about energy as a resource - using the image of a leaky bucket. Many women realised for the first time that they'd been losing (or leaking) energy constantly, saying yes when they meant no, showing up for things or people when they were already depleted, carrying responsibilities that weren't theirs to carry.
They didn't even know they were "leaking" until we named it.
And here's what they discovered. Setting boundaries wasn't about becoming selfish or unkind. It was simply about honouring what they already knew to be true.
It's okay to say no.
"I can't today."
"I need to protect my health - physical and mental."
"I deserve micro-pauses to check in with how I'm feeling."
These are not rigid rules. They're acts of self-respect that come from listening to your inner knowing.
What Listening Actually Feels Like
Your inner knowing might feel like:
A heaviness in your chest when you agree to something you don't actually want to do
The exhaustion that shows up when you've been pushing too hard for too long
The quiet "no" that you override because you don't want to disappoint someone
The relief you feel when plans get cancelled
The tension in your shoulders that tells you this relationship is draining you
This isn't weakness. This is your body's wisdom speaking.
And when you honour it - when you actually listen and act on what you know - that's when boundaries stop feeling like deprivation and start feeling like coming home to yourself.
The Practice: Checking In with Your Inner Knowing
Here's a simple practice you can use throughout January (and beyond) to strengthen your connection to your inner wisdom:
The Three-Breath Check-In
Several times a day - morning, midday, evening - pause and take three slow breaths.
Then ask yourself these questions:
Breath 1: How is my body feeling right now?
Notice: Tension? Tiredness? Ease? Just observe without judgement.
Breath 2: What is my energy level telling me?
Notice: Am I running on empty? Do I have reserves? Am I pushing through exhaustion?
Breath 3: What do I actually need in this moment?
Notice: Rest? Movement? Space? Connection? What does your inner knowing say?
Then - and this is crucial - honour at least one thing you discover.
Maybe you need to go to bed earlier tonight. Maybe you need to say no to that invitation. Maybe you need ten minutes alone before you face the next task.
Start small. Just one act of listening and honouring per day.
Journal prompt: At the end of each day, write down:
What did my inner knowing tell me today?
Did I listen? If yes, what happened? If no, what stopped me?
What would change if I trusted this wisdom more fully?
Permission to Trust Yourself
Here's what I've learnt (and I’m still learning) - your inner knowing is never wrong.
It might be uncomfortable. It might disappoint people. It might mean changing plans or admitting you can't do something you thought you could.
But - it's never wrong!
The Water Element reminds us that winter is the season for trusting what we know in our depths. For letting that wisdom guide us, even when the path isn't convenient or comfortable.
This January, as everyone around you is making grand resolutions and pushing for more, what if you did something different?
What if you simply practised listening to yourself? Trusting what your body tells you. Honouring what your spirit knows to be true.
That's not giving up. That's the deepest wisdom you possess.
And when you live from that place - when boundaries become natural expressions of self-trust rather than rules you force yourself to follow - everything shifts.
You stop leaking energy. You start protecting what matters. You teach people how to treat you simply by treating yourself with respect first.
You already know what you need. The only question is… will you trust yourself enough to honour it?
Breathe & believe, lovely💫
Lorraine